May 21, 2010

Rattlesnakes and Tea

There's trouble on the home front. My typical morning and evening routine is to have my tea outside on the patio. I like it there, big beautiful trees, squirrels at play, blue birds and cardinals make Austin there home. The seldom seen owls and pesky deer are also no stranger here. Now, over the past month or so Ive gone out late at night or early morning to relax and have my tea only to realize that there is a rattlesnake just a few feet away from where I am sitting. This situation limits my ability to appreciate my tea. And after having realized the danger you are in, no matter what tea you are brewing it all tends to taste like crap. Having seen so many this year (and it's only May) I realized that there must be a nest of them somewhere close by. You know as summer progresses they are only going to get bigger and their venom more toxic. The evening news has broadcast (like they do every year) to be careful, use common sense kinda thing. On a normal year I might see one or two snakes, no big deal. But this year they are saying that for whatever reason the snakes are in abundance and evidently they are all headed for my back yard. One of the real problems with snakes around residential areas is that they can get into the foundation of your home and sometimes when they come out it's on the wrong side of the wall and they wind up inside your house.

 So I decided to take matters into my own hands. A Benjamin & Sheridan .22 caliber bolt action pellet gun should do the trick. I don't like the idea of killing anything but.........If it comes down to it, I,m gonna kill the little tea spoilers. And if I do say so myself, I am one hell of a shot with a rifle. I couldn't hit a house with a hand gun. On two different occasions Ive found two snakes at the same time on my porch. I know to stay away from them and they will usually slither off without any encouragement from me, but my dogs don't know any better. Just can't take that chance. So, if you hear any rat-a-tat's going off in the middle of the night, it's just me, don't worry about it, go back to sleep.

 My new Benjamin & Sheridan, bolt action, single shot, .22 caliber, all solid hard wood walnut stock, all solid metal parts. This is a very well made pellet gun, not one of those cheap plastic ones. Although Ive always wanted a Daisy Red Rider BB gun since I was a kid but my parents being sensible wouldn't let me have one. They said I,d shoot my eye out, now where have I heard that before?

 Twenty yards away, very first shot. I should be in the circus or something, one of those trick shooters.


  1. Love it--you win the prize for baddest-ass tea blog post ever with this one. Be careful, don't want any ricochets damaging any zhuni etc....

  2. Ah Schucks! Actually I may be wrong but I think there is some kind of statute here in Texas that states you must own at least one fire arm to be a legal resident.

  3. Well neighbor, New Mexico is no stranger to snakes as well!
    We found a baby rattler outside of our house that we had to eliminate! And hiking I have seen them on occasion.
    We do not have too much of a problem though because the snakes tend to stay away from the sub-developments!
    Good luck on the snake hunt!

  4. This post gave me flashbacks from my childhood in Odessa. Rattlesnakes, Scorpions, Tornadoes, Sweet Tea and Kool-Aid are my clearest memories of those early formative years.

  5. This would share me to death! Have you seen this????

  6. That should have been:

  7. In Norway the police dosen't even have guns, but then we don't have any snakes. We do, however, kill whales; from time to time, but with much bigger guns... Actually, I don't think I've ever seen a snake, but I have seen a polar bear.

    Drank some 2005 Chang Tai Yiwu Sheng Pin today, and it was great! Lasted for nearly 11 infusions.

  8. Oh yeah... how could I forget the Guns! (We're talking about West Texas after all.) My friend and I at 5 years old almost became one of those horrific-tragic statistics while playing w/ his dad's "unloaded" (turns out that was wrong) gun. Luckily my mom found us before we tested anything out. I have load of other long suppressed stories from those magical early 80's in West Texas ;)

    Have fun at the Rattlesnake round up!

  9. Bernideen, believe me, it left me a little "rattled" the first time I found myself in this situation.

    Terje, Chang Tai has become one of my favorite producers. Other people are evidently not so impressed, but every one of them Ive tried I liked quite a lot. I think they are one of the better "mid priced" tea's out there.

  10. Bret & Zero,

    Agreed. Most Bad-Ass Tea Post Ever. Period.


    There is a reason, after all, why Americans & Canadians can justify legally owning guns. Up in Canada there has been an increase in the amount of coyote and wolf attacks on small children in the past few winters. This is not on farms but in the suburbs of cities. Last year here in Victoria, a woman woke up to a cougar in her house, this is in the city! And of course there is always the bears bothering those in the country.

    Imaging going to prepare early morning tea when you discover a confused cougar in your tea room!


    Have never heard of a wild health claims about tea that goes like this "protects against attack by dangerous predators". Better keep the gun.



  11. Howdy Matt, You know, Ive never really been a "gun kinda guy" not really into them or anything but I agree with you in that there are legitimate reasons to own a gun. Snakes have to either be caught and carried away to a new location or be killed. Now, if I were to catch the snakes and take them away, my tea would probably be cold by the time I got back so......I choose to shoot em, finish my tea then toss the dead snake into my neighbors yard. Haha! Not really.

  12. There simply are some things you need to be safe from and rattlers for morning tea count in my book. Good shooting to you!

  13. Thank You Marlena, it's good to know that we are all on the same page here. Some things just have to die and that's all there is to it.

  14. Ahem, yes. I don't like additions to my tea, and rattlesnake venom is at the bottom of my list.

  15. This reminds me of my childhood in Pennsylvania when at the age of 12 I did receive my Daisy Red Rider BB gun. I did some stupid things with it too like shoot a BB tube from the mouth of my cousin at about 10 yards. Talk about shooting an eye out. They tell me that rattle snake meat is tasty roasted. I wonder how it would taste with tea?